I am not as cool as I think. Is this a common trait among moms? The current reminder on the table is that I did not know that Rocawear was a Jay-Z brand. How could I not know that? I have no reason to buy it because my daughter leans more toward an Avril Lavigne style, but still - I see it in the stores. I read. I watch tv. I tend to pay attention to Jay-Z news even though I am not a huge fan. I remember hearing about Justin Timberlake making jeans, Nelly making jeans, LL Cool J having a clothing line at Sears - how this Jay-Z business escaped me I don't know. Probably the same way the words to Katy Perry's ET continue to illude me, despite how much I enjoy hearing the song. I think on some level I should get some cool or youtful points for liking Katy Perry even if I can't get the words right. My kids find it more embarrassing than cool, though. I just don't think it's fair. 

"Times are tough." It's a common saying. It rings true more at some times than others. But I can confidently say that THESE are the toughest times of MY lifetime. I have never known of so many people to be hurting. People who otherwise would be doing well. People with jobs, multi income households, people who have for the most part made good choices in life... we're all suffering and making sacrifices the same. 

Some folks have been thrust into the position of having to start a new job or career.  Others are seeking a second job or otherwise  supplement their income. You can have a garage sale, sell gold, go into direct sales, start your own business in lawn care, house cleaning, child care, handy work, or whatever it is that appeals to you. There are options and as long as you keep looking forward and working toward success, it will come. But just because we do have the power to conquer whatever is put in our path, doesn't make everything okay.

There is something wrong with a society where people with jobs cannot afford to keep food in their houses. When the cost of food, gas, and other necessities suddenly raises so much that the average American has a hard time making the ESSENTIAL ends meet, there is a problem.

I know that we all have to do what we have to do to overcome our challenges. We have to work more and make sacrifices to feed and support our families. But I worry that this will become the norm. I worry that rising costs will settle and stay in place once we have all adapted. My husband has been leaving the house at 3 am for work and getting home at 7pm. We barely see him through the week and he'stired. But he's actually feeling okay about it - not because we are rolling in dough or can finally afford a vacation - but because we were able to go to the grocery store this week. This is not okay with me. Things are out of whack.

I don't have a solution right now and maybe it will never even become a problem. But I see the potential. Our strings are being pulled right now and I don't like what's being orchestrated.  

Just a couple of weeks ago I wrote a post at another blog about how our country seems to be suffering as much from poor health as it is from a poor economy. That post was inspired by a conversation with a friend who said, "People are getting sick everywhere and everyone I know is losing people. I'm scared my turn is coming." I agreed with her. That was then. This is now. And now my Father in Law has Stage IV lung cancer.

I've lost people to cancer before. I've lost a lot of people, in fact. But none this close since I've been a grown up - and had to carry the weight of what to do, what's being done, why isn't something being done, none of it makes any sense, what can I do? 

It is taking so long for him to get started on treatment and it seems like the most action happening is the feet being dragged. I understand it's part of the process. Hospital experiences are always frustrationg. So I'm focusing on natural ways to supplement his treatment once he gets home.

I've been Googling all day. Googling is the new eating. I used to eat my feelings and my fears. Now I Google them away. This is overwhelming though - the amount of info out there. Someone says wheatgrass is the answer. Someone else says carrots are the most powerful cancer fighting food. Someone says hgh is a powerful cancer fighter, but someone else says hgh causes cancer. Frustrating. But I'll figure it out. At least it is keeping me busy and keeping my mind focused on survival and not loss. 

That's really it for today.