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This is my blog. I
blog other places and do what I'm told. I do what I want here. Some posts I've been paid for, to mention a product or a company.
But I don't endorse for pay. When I'm not "mentioning," I'm contemplating, or venting, or trying to help. This blog
is a work in progress, trying to find its voice while providing a home base for all my projects. I can do whatever I want,
really. This is my blog.
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Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Things to do at my Funeral when I'm Dead
The topic today is funerals. It’s a subject you may not like, but we cannot escape it.
We mourn lost loved ones every day and one day they will mourn us. Regardless of your faith or after life beliefs, we
all will one day draw our last physical breath on this earth. I move that we all participate in the biggest collective
paradigm shift ever and just decide that death is okay and funerals are fun. I think Dr. Dyer and Stephen Covey would
both approve. I have an amazing free spirited friend named Leslie* (name not changed to protect the innocent because
she is far from innocent and I think would like the shout out) :-) She asked me today if it would be appropriate to
go barefoot to her friend’s funeral. How would you have answered that question? Considering funerals are
a somber, dignified occasion at which to pay your respects to the recently deceased before you say goodbye and send them off,
it may not seem “respectful” to show up without your shoes. If that is what you were thinking, shame on
you! Leslie’s friend was a huge fan of being barefoot. It would be disrespectful to mandate shoes at her funeral.
I hope they bury her without any shoes, in fact. If we are talking about being “respectful” and honoring
the deceased, why should the big send off be orchestrated according to “the norm” or following any society standards?
If she loved being barefoot so much why should she have to enter the great unknown wearing foot covering when you know given
the choice, she’d go barefoot? So I advised Leslie to forget what’s appropriate and leave her shoes at home.
Then it got me thinking about my own funeral. Yesterday when I was talking to her Leslie was making vegetable pizza
to take for folks to eat after the service. I really like vegetable pizza and have made it for many occasions that I
hosted. I hope she brings it to my funeral. I should ask her ahead of time. What else would I like? - Please
bury me in black. Not because it’s funeraly, but because I still want to take advantage of its slimming affect.
It’s the last time you’ll see me and I want to look hot. Even though I will hopefully be 110.
- I
love my Tiffany’s necklace, but don’t bury me in it. No jewelry or anything of material value at all please.
In fact, if any of my girlie treasures end up in any hands other than my daughter or nieces, I will come back to make it right.
- If you like black, you can wear it too. Vamp it up, even, think of it as a cocktail party or New Year’s
Eve event. But if you prefer another color, such as lime green like the color of your VW bug, you better wear it.
You know who you are. Just please, regardless of your color palette, no one upstage me. It’s MY funeral,
not yours.
- If you must send me off from a church, go ahead. I’ll give you that one. I acknowledge
that you will be grieving and in need of comfort so if you can find one that will take me and permit my wishes, you have my
blessing.
- No preaching. You can do that on Sunday. Take turns telling kind, loving, funny stories about
me. I love to hear about myself so that will be the best way to honor me. Make sure someone says a comforting
prayer, though, for all the peeps in attendance who miss me.
- My song list may change between now and the big day,
but these are non negotiable and should be the only somber times of the event as I give my last lecture. In honor of
me, you have to let me have the last word with these tunes.
- IF I CAN DREAM (Elvis) My all time fave.
Listen to it, learn it, live it.
- PURPLE RAIN (Prince) My grand apology for every mistake I made. They were
born of the the best intentions.
- THIS USED TO BE MY PLAYGROUND (Madonna) My reflective moment as I say goodbye.
- AS
I LAY ME DOWN (Sophie B. Hawkins) For some reason reminds me of Mama Shirl and chokes me up on the rare occasion I hear
it. May it have the same affect on you.
- Those most affected by my passing at the time of the occurrence
get to plan the wake. Make it as long as you like and make it fun. My Moms wake was so much fun for
me, hugging and visiting with so many people I hadn’t seen in ages. The energy was amazing. So make
sure you take advantage of the occasion to catch up with people you love. I will love watching that.
- No cell
phones, netbooks, or pdas allowed. I love texting as much as the next gal but I would like your undivided attention just this once.
You can Facebook and Twitter my funeral party later. On second thought… Twittering the whole shin dig would
be cool!
- This is most important. It’s okay to cry all you need to, but make sure you laugh more and leave
feeling good, however you need to accomplish it.
- Instead of having a big dinner afterward, please rent a hall or
something, get a dj and have a big party, like a wedding reception. In fact, plan the whole day accordingly and dance
til midnight. Or dawn. Play cards. Eat veggie pizza, bowtie caesar pasta, and cheesy potatoes. Nobody
gets to watch their carbs at my funeral. Another non negotiable thing.
So that’s it for my funeral.
You are almost looking forward to it, right? My point is, why does a funeral have to be stuffy and sad? And why
do rules have to be followed that allegedly honor the deceased? The best thing you can do to honor your passing loved
ones is to stay true to you and them. As a daughter saying goodbye to her mother it lifted my spirits to the heavens
to watch my Aunts sneaking make up and hair supplies into the wake to fix Mom’s hair and face to be more true to her.
And the few people who had the boldness to drop quarters in her casket and into the ground at the burial… I knew how
much they loved her and shared her joy of the slots. I hope my loved ones honor me in the most kind, loving, unconventional
and inappropriate ways that they know I would appreciate. Well? What do you think? Would you now advise
Leslie to go barefoot to her friend’s funeral? Or are you still a supporter of convential mourning? I’d
love to hear your thoughts.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I cannot seem to get a grip on things the last few weeks and it hit me today that my focus and productivity seemed to run
out at the same time as my diet pill! I was taking Adipex for awhile to jump start my mood when my doctor diagnosed
me depressed. I knew I was melancholy, low on energy, and in general unhappy, but who ever thinks they're clincally
depressed? The energy from the diet pill was amazing. I have heard people complain that they can only take half a pill
because they don't like the feeling. I LOVE the feeling. It wasn't at all artificial to me, it simply felt like
me B.D. (before depression). The appetite supressant was a great bonus. I forgot to eat and when I remembered,
I was grossed out. What more could you ask for? :-) How about less stomach and digestive woes. That
was the draw back. It was severe but totally worth it. It is the best of the top diet pills or appetite suppressant I have ever tried. My favorite part of taking Adipex was the focus and creativity it
stirred up. Since my pills have run out and I cannot get any more I have missed the euphoria, but been pleased with
natural energy I have and the dismissal of comfort eating. The goal was to just get me back on my feet and returned
to my healthy eating and living habits. But I miss the focus and endless ideas. I might need to talk to my doctor
again!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Even though I have been off my diet pill for a month I still crave it like I popped my last one yesterday and am
due for my next dose. Yes it was that good. But it has its draw backs too. My doc put me on a diet pill
not just because I had gained some weight but because I was recovering from depression and I needed a boost of energy to bring
me back alive. Adipex did that and more. I wasn't only alive I was vibrant and focused and productive and just
plain tickled to be alive. But then came Cinco de Mayo and my doc put a cap on how many margaritas I could have.
1.5 to be exact. I guess since I was trying to lose weight I shouldn't have been drinking anyway, but still, I didn't
like being told not to! Having to avoid alcohol was no big surprise, though. The one that threw me for a loop
was cold medicine. I read the warnings that said not to mix diet pills with
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Report Cards Rewards
I thought I was going to fall out of my chair back in September when Hubs told Drew if he maintains good grades for the
year he would be rewarded with a PlayStation 3. I was actually relieved yesterday when the report card came in the mail
and did not meet the reward criteria! Andrew is 13 1/2. He is very small for his age so he gets grief from kids
at school. He also has a mean case of ADHD. He has the look of a wild animal in his eye when he wakes up in the
morning, uncivilized, rowdy, compulsive, and completely lacking in control. Without his medicine he cannot make it through
one class without earning detention. WITH his medication he is lively, polite, and charming, yet still a bit distractable.
So focusing and doing work is a challenge to him. He really does deserve a reward for working so hard not only on his
school work, but to conquer his ADHD. So why am I glad he didn't earn it this time? COST Have
you seen how much PS3 costs? $399! Now I am not saying they are not worth it. The games and graphics are phenomenal, and the
players double as dvd/blue ray players. If video games were not such a distraction and money were flowing I wouldn't be such
a scrooge about it. No, I don't deny their value, but I think that price range is out of proportion for the task at
hand, especially at a time when money is especially tight. CONFLICT Sometimes it is hard to
get Drew to get his homework done because all he can think about is the video game he was last playing. He rushes through
everything he does so he can move onto video games. He is not allowed to play during the week but still rushes through
things in the hopes that one time I will make an exception. Video games are on his mind all day long and in his dreams
at night. I often hear him yelling and battling from his room along with his dream. It seems the last thing he
needs, when he's struggling to perform at school and at home, is another video game. OVERKILL We
have PS2 and Wii. Don't you think that's enough for goodness sake? I can think of plenty other, better, things
to reward him with, can't you? Personally, I think cash smaller cash rewards all year long are the way to keep my son
motivated and his eyes on the prize... whatever that prize turns out to be.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Fun with Rocks and Faucets
Guess what I am doing in November! Nope. Enjoying a long weekend at a spa resort in Arizona! Yay me!
No, the blogging business does not pay that well BUT I have a dear friend with a time share who includes me in her relaxation
plans each year. I am not sure which I get more excited about, the luxurious bathrooms or heavenly massage treatments.
In real life on a daily basis, I despise shower time. The hot water runs out when I'm shaving
my legs and it takes way too long to dry my hair and get fancied up. But on vacation, free of schedule and responsibility,
I could spend all day in the bathroom where the glass encased showers and multi head Grohe faucets are as beautiful to behold as any exhibit or attraction in town.
Even so, of course the massage treatments are
by far superior to singing in the shower, even when the shower is bigger than my bedroom at home. I am already stressing
about which treatment I want, though. Good thing I'm getting a massage!
Spa treatments are really pricey
so I have to make some hard decisions. Last year I wanted to try acupuncture, I'm all out of balance I'm just sure of
it, but chickened out. Have you ever tried it? There is also one called craniosacral that focuses on chronic
head and back pain. I'm all about that. I don't care at all about the facial/mani/pedi stuff... but what the sugar scrubs,
the hydro treatments and exfoliating spray tan?! Somebody help me!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Appetite Suppressant Junkie
I remember about 15 years ago when everyone I knew was getting on Prozac. And you KNEW they were on it because they
constantly talked about it. I don't notice it so much today, maybe because I have already converted? But back then,
no one could stop talking about how good they felt and recommending everyone get on it. That's how I feel about Adipex! It
is a diet pill for the love of pete! Not a cure for RLS! But I cannot get over how good I feel when I take it.
I ran out about a week ago which is probably why I am fighting to keep my eyes open today, but I have a new supply coming
this week. Hurry Mr. Postman! I have tried various diet products over the years, sometimes to lose weight and
sometimes just for the energy. Adipex provides a great supply of energy plus it is by far the best appetite suppressant I have ever tried. I sometimes have to set alarms to remind me to eat, that's how strong it is! I am not sure
about the over the counter type products... how effective or safe they are... you should definitely check with your doctor
first. Prolonged use can put stress on your heart... no energy or weight loss is worth that risk... but like my Prozac
eating friends before me, I find it difficult not to spread the word of what a positive change Adipex has made for me, and
encourage you to talk to your doctor about it if you are suffering from extra weight gain and lack of energy.
Monday, June 1, 2009
What is Cheaper Than Hotels.com?
Cheaperthanhotels.com is! Clever huh? :-)  I think we have established over the last few months that I am desperate for a vacation, right? Unfortunately the vacation
budget is pretty small this summer so we have pretty much decided that there would be no big vacation this year. Just
some type of day drive somewhere type thing. Even so, I haven't stopped scoping out package deals for Orlando and Vegas.
That's how I found CHEAPERTHANHOTELS.COM. My results for Las Vegas were not as promising, but Orlando
had some great deals on 4 star hotels. We might be able to go to Seaworld afterall! And the cool thing about CHEAPERTHANHOTELS is that in addition to the low prices they provide grants and funding for communities, clubs, and organizations. They
have a bunch of sponsorship opportunities for community programs, non profit organizations, schools, etc. All you have
to do is fill out the form and tell them why your group needs their support and your group could receive between $250 and
$25,000 per year! I still don't know if we're going to have a vacation this year but I do have a new fun, easy website
to search my vacations on.
Notebook Computer Catch 22
I love writing and in just one short year I have made leaps and bounds in the quality of assignments I receive and the
money I make online. I could do even better, though, if I had a new computer. Which I can't get until I make more
money. Which I can't do until I get a new computer. See my dillemma? I am doing OKAY. I blame my hubby
a lot for distracting me while he's off work but it isn't really ALL his fault. I have a lot of "dead" time
where I am sitting in parking lots waiting for kids to come out of the school or something similar. My work space is
not at all comfortable either which is distracting. If I had a wireless laptop I could make better use of all that wasted
time! It drives me especially nuts because as well as I have done in the past year I am only taking advantage of a fraction
of the online jobs available to me. I have to turn many down due to time constraints. I think for writing
I would really like a mini notebook computer. Does anyone have any experience with those? The price is nice and the size is great for portability, or so it
seems. I am not sure what type of computer I will end up with, as long as it's wireless, but that's what I am
saving my pennies for!
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